The Drunk Waiter / Rude Waitress
This delightful character is on hand to greet the guests
on arrival in an over friendly and offhand manner. His
clothing, while superficially correct, is ill fitting and
held together with staples, paper clips and safety pins.
He delivers the incorrect drinks and food casually and sloppily
while subtly (or not so subtly) drinking on the job.
He joins or initiates conversations with guests, thinking
of them as his best friends and saying all the wrong things.
He slags off and argues with his manager until, having
become totally inebriated and having attempted to start
a sing song, he is ejected. This character gives guests
plenty to talk about without dominating the whole evening.
This character can also be paired with a RUDE WAITRESS
(ES) who is casual and rude to some customers while
mothering her obvious favorites. This usually climaxes with
her taking one of her favorites up and singing to them.
None of these characters will cause real offense or
These two characters meet the guests at the entrance
to the restaurant, demanding to inspect their invitations
and credentials. They are dressed in standard door security
gear but with one suit too large and the other too small.
They are very officious in manner with one bossy and the
other intellectually challenged.
Once the majority of guests have arrived they mingle
inside with them offering to share their banana and
scallion sandwiches with them and pointing out any deficiencies
in fashion sense. They read out any messages from guests
etc who have not managed to make it and help guests to exercise
if cold or stiff.
The characters, while entertaining the guests with their
antics and witticisms, are always careful not to annoy or
offend and this leads to an evening of controlled mayhem.